picture from Isabella Morais

I know when people read the above title, they get interested and think that they hearing some advices, they are better equipped to get a boyfriend or girlfriend.

The truth is, anybody who asks that question doesn’t understand anything about relationships; you aren’t just going to be getting a partner by using pickup lines, dressing up in the best way that you can and try to appear attractive.

When I was younger, I received such advices before, and it proves to be more of a crap than helpful.

I am sharing this today for one of my friends, who is going after a lady’s heart. And for those who are in the same situation of pursuing someone’s heart, be it a guy or a girl, this is definitely for you.

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from cl.chong

I seldom like to write very long posts, but this is one of the most important stuff that I have ever written.

This is a crucial question to really ask you and yourself only: what is the ideal love relationship that you would like to have?

You see, most people go by their perception and their feelings to pursue someone they like, and rightly so simply because its natural.

However, in the midst of pursuing someone we like or settling down with a partner, we don’t know what we want for ourselves in a love relationship, and we simply make lots of mistakes with our decisions because we are not guiding our perceptions and feelings to what we really want.

Supposed a girl who decides for herself to find someone who is responsible, charismatic and has a great personality. She thinks for herself that that is her kind of boyfriend that she will look out for.

And finally, she caught the heart of a guy whom she thinks has all the attributes she wants. Sad to say, the guy turns out to be someone who is intolerant and unforgiving with the girl’s weaknesses and mistakes.

Therefore, instead of having the ideal love relationship, she has a miserable time, and the relationship just do not last.

It happens to everyone, including guys, and all the time as well.

Hence for today I would like to walk you through on how you can realize for yourself the ideal love relationship you would like to have, and how it will help you to enjoy love and life.

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“ScienceDaily (Feb. 5, 2010) — People often complain about those seemingly smug married couples who constantly refer to themselves as “we.” But a new study from the University of California, Berkeley, suggests that spouses who use “we-ness” language are better able to resolve conflicts than those who don’t.

UC Berkeley researchers analyzed conversations between 154 middle-aged and older couples about points of disagreement in their marriages and found that those who used pronouns such as “we,” “our” and “us” behaved more positively toward one another and showed less physiological stress.

In contrast, couples who emphasized their “separateness” by using pronouns such as “I,” “me” and “you” were found to be less satisfied in their marriages. This was especially true for older couples. Their use of separateness pronouns was most strongly linked to unhappy marriages, according to the study.

Moreover, the study found that older couples identified more as “we” than did their middle-aged counterparts, suggesting that facing obstacles and overcoming challenges together over the long haul, including raising families, may give couples a greater sense of shared identity.

“Individuality is a deeply ingrained value in American society, but, at least in the realm of marriage, being part of a ‘we’ is well worth giving up a bit of ‘me,’” said UC Berkeley psychology professor Robert Levenson, a co-author of the study published last semester in the journal Psychology and Aging.

Previous studies have established that the use of “we-ness” or “separateness” language is a strong indicator of marital satisfaction in younger couples. These latest findings, however, take this several steps further by showing how powerful this correlation is in more established couples, linking it to the emotions and physiological responses that occur when spouses either team up or become polarized in the face of disagreements, researchers said.

“The use of ‘we’ language is a natural outgrowth of a sense of partnership, of being on the same team, and confidence in being able to face problems together,” said study co-author Benjamin Seider, a graduate student in psychology at UC Berkeley.

In addition to Seider and Levenson, co-authors of the study are Gilad Hirschberger and Kristin Nelson, who conducted their research while at UC Berkeley’s Institute of Personality and Social Research.”

The above article and image is taken at 15 Feb 2010, from: http://www.sciencedaily.com­/releases/2010/01/100128142143.htm
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