Dating tips and Relationship advice – The Myths of Confidence

Feb 3, 2010 Author: r2moo2 | Filed under: Dating Tips, Relationship advice

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I wanted to share more boyfriend gift ideas to you, however I don’t have any camera with me at the moment, so I can’t really take pictures to show you.

Instead, let me share with you what I know about confidence in general.

This will help you not only for relationships, but also in dating tips, businesses or whatsoever you want to do in your life.

Anyway, in What really attracts a guy to a girl?, I revealed that confidence is an ingredient for being attractive.

Find out more to know what can really make you look good and attractive.

Dating tips and Relationship advice – The Myths of Confidence

Just to let you know that when I am referring to confidence, I am not referring to arrogance or being stuck up, or being blind to one’s own weaknesses. Those are some traits that I am absolutely against with.

We all know that confidence is an important aspect in life, and its effects affects not only in our love relationships, but also practically everything else in our pursuit for success and satisfaction of life.

And especially in relationships, we wonder why are some people so confident, and seem to be able to attract people from the opposite gender to themselves, while others just struggle in their hearts.

Just as people do not generally like to befriend an insecure person, it will be difficult for anybody to continue their love relationships or dates if they are found to be insecure.

I will dispel some myths of confidence for you, so that you will learn some secrets of being confident.

Myth #1: Confidence is a personality trait that can never be gotten other than from birth.

That’s a total myth; you can learn how to be confident.

I was never born confident; yet people who know me, know that I am confident towards them, and that rubs off on them too.

When I was young, I used to be introverted, and would like to stay at home most of the time.

My parents, fearing that I might really become introverted for life, forced my sister to bring me out when she is going to meet her friends.

Now how did I learn confidence? I will post more about it in future, but one of the major aspects of learning confidence is to take note of the mannerisms of confident people and emulate them.

That was the beginnings of my journey on learning how to be confident.

Myth #2: Confidence is about having great abilities or having something of value that other people do not have, such as great looks.

Many girls still suffer from low self-esteem even when they look beautiful.

And guys are not an exception too.

You see, confidence is not about having great abilities or strengths that you can draw your courage from.

The number 1 battlefield that affects our confidence is not about having good or bad abilities, nor is it about our strengths and weaknesses, but rather our negative emotions are our greatest enemy.

We are constantly at war with our feelings in regards to confidence, because many of us seem to think that so long as we feel confident, we are confident; and when we feel lousy, we lose confidence.

Such belief system is shaky, and more emphasize should be placed on who you really are, instead of your feelings. I will share more on this aspect when in future posts about how to gain confidence for oneself.

I do not deny that having great abilities or strengths do help, but they are not necessary.

Myth #3: Confidence is about psyching yourself into confidence, and pretending to be somebody whom you are not.

I never found the above myth helpful.

I found that when you need to brainwash yourself to be confident, it actually exposes the fact that you were never confident in the first place; for if you are truly confident, why is it necessary for you to brainwash yourself?

And I find that people who brainwash themselves into confidence sometimes are blind to their weaknesses. They seem to think that being confident is all about being positive, to disregard the negative, and that weaknesses don’t matter.

Now I am not against having a good attitude towards life, but somehow people who brainwash themselves tend to be unrealistic with their current situations. They do not notice at all that they being unrealistic and their flaws affect other people.

Myth #4: A confident person never feels negative at all.

That’s what I used to believe.

I have friends who are confident in themselves, and I used to think that they never ever feel negative, while I usually struggle with my feelings.

However, as time goes by, I realized that everyone is merely putting a strong front at the outside, but everyone also suffers from negative feelings too.

So remember that you are not alone if you are feeling negative about yourself.

So I feel insecure and have a lack of confidence in the things I want to pursue. Now what?

I want you to realize that your insecurities should never undermine your worth, for you worth more than you think you really are.

And you can be confident too, if you realize that confidence is something that everyone can have.

Also realize that learning to be confident is a journey; I did not get it at the first day.

If you are willing to learn how to be confident, do let me know in the comments page box below, and ask me questions that you really want to find out.

Especially in regards to relationships and dating advices, I just cannot imagine anyone succeeding in their love pursuit without confidence.

I will answer them as honestly and as fast as I can for you to help you in your journey.

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